Belinda’s Blog

I don’t mean to ignore those who read here who are not parents, but for those who are, I just wanted to ask some questions and ponder some things and get your opinions/hear your experience.

The further into this preg that we get, the more I start to think about the decisions that I wil have to make soon. They cover a whole range of things.

One is when to take my Mat Leave. At least that one is sorted and it seems easy in comparison to the others!

Last night we were talking about giving birth. We both have somewhat mixed feelings on this, probably Steven moreso than me. I know for sure that a natural birth does not interest me. I have been through contractions/dilation when I had my miscarriage so I have some idea of what it’s like. I don’t believe that birth has to be painful or traumatic and I’ve never cared much about being a ‘hero’ in the process. I had thrown about the idea of a scheduled C-section with the first pregnancy for a few reasons. Then, when this bundle came to be, we didn’t discuss it for a while and I’ve not yet raised it with my Ob. Steven was at one stage very against the C idea & he really thought that vaginal w/ an epi was prob the best way to go. Mainly, his concerns for a C centred around how much pain I’d be in, a longer hospital stay & how it would limit my actions with the baby if I was incapacitated for a time during my recovery. I can definitely see his point and understand his feelings. However, when talking last night, we kinda kept going back to the same reasons why we were pro-C section. Aside from his concern over the recovery:

*He doesn’t want to see me in prolonged pain/fatigue if a lengthy birth is on the cards.

*The kicker for us: scheduling would take away one of the main fears that could become a definite reality. Steven at the best of times is over 2-3 hrs from me during the work week. We would not want him to take leave before he arrives, just because we want to maximise the time he is around once he is here and even moreso, after I am home. The thought of going into labor and having to get myself to the hospital and having Steven about 100km  away would freak the hell out of me, given than I am not very at ease with medical things at the best of times and would not want to go through that alone! A scheduled C would take away that fear and uncertainty, though I guess there are pros and cons to both ways of doing things. I guess that part of me thinks a C will be ‘easier’ in many ways (some of which I’ve stated), yet does that make me selfish or too much of a control freak wanting a say in when he arrives?
Sooo..having said that, I want honest answers from you mothers! For those who had C-sections, tell me honestly what you think. How bad was the pain afterwards?  Was your recovery from it easy? Hard? Prolonged? Or no big deal? Did you face much opposition if you scheduled one?

Another decision is the other ‘C’ – circumcision. This is something that we both feel very strongly about. It’s what we prefer on a personal level but I have in the past done a lot of research on it which confirmed my stance on it. I’m not worried about going ahead with something like that. It is pretty hard to find Drs who do the procedure these days I think (although I think it’s coming back in vogue again to an extent, being done much more than it was in the 80s and 90s). So that’s another thing we’ll have to look into and organise.

Then there is the whole childcare/return to work thing. I will return to work, albeit it part-time, simply because I want for us to live comfortably and even more importantly, I do not want to lose the right of return to the school I currently work at. In NSW, you are guaranteed a position for a number of yrs, but your position at the current school is not guaranteed if you do not return within 3 yrs. I waited 10 yrs for my position and I don’t want to give it up. While it’s not the easiest school to work at, it’s not the hardest out there either & it is the closest school in that district to home. Should I give that up, I could end up less happy in a school further from home. So it’s a given than I will go back to work and I’m fine with that. I think I’ll enjoy it if it’s part-time cos it will be just enough and not too much to balance with home and baby. Also, the sooner I get back there, the sooner I can qualify to apply for a transfer. I’ll need another yr or equivalent of  teaching before I can apply and then it can take a while to eventuate. I figure it would be more useful to be working closer to home when he is in school than when in daycare. Having said that, how early do we need to choose/apply for a daycare place? And what to look for and what would I expect to pay per day? I’m not sure whether to look for one around where I work or where I live.

So that’s all that! I’d love to hear your thoughts/feelings (or even thoughts of others you know) on any or all of these things.

It definitely feels like the next year is going to bring about so many big decisions!!!

OK, so I was wrong about my bad throat. It wasn’t just a sore throat. It was the beginning of a bad cold (well, I’ll say cold because I don’t have bodyaches but I do have all the other symptoms). Yesterday it was so-so but I was still able to help in getting our house spick and span. Today, however, has been a different story.

I had a bad night’s sleep. My sinuses were aching and I was v. congested so I was awake a lot. My nose is like a tap, I now have a chesty cough etc.

My wonderful hubby has been – well, wonderful! He dashed out this morning to see what I could take. I don’t think the nasal drops will do a thing, b/c it’s not congested and I cannot take anything to dry it up. I have cough medicine though & just taking Panadol/lemon drinks for the throat etc.

I’ve spent most of today just lying on the lounge watching music channels or DVDs along with a nice long sleep this afternoon.

I was going to grocery shop this afternoon but Steven ducked out while I was sleeping to do it. He also washed the car while he was out, came back with dessert and is now cooking me a roast

I sure do feel like crap, but I adore my husband!!! Please cross fingers this stupid cold goes away soon. I only have one more week of work left before hols & I would prefer to be there and not at home in bed sick!

It’s Friday night once more 

Steven is out having drinks with his old workmates from a previous job, so it’s just me & the dogs hanging out in front of the TV and the heater.

Got through work OK, with the assistance of much water & many a throat lozenge. My voice was getting so sore by the end of today that I’m so glad tomorrow is not a workday! Hopefully by Monday, it will be but a mere memory.

I got my form today for Mat leave as they want me to submit it soon. I wasn’t sure how it all worked, but they said that usually people just apply for their leave for 6 weeks before their EDD and then if they want to finish up before than (and most do, apparently), it’s just a case of filling out an amended form.  So I’ll get that filled in and I’ll get the documentation from my Ob. at my next appt on July 4 ( I had planned on getting it from him then anyway).

Also today, we discussed further my role next term. In a nutshell my class has been handed over to the teacher who was planned to take them in Term 4. For a few reasons: namely, to lighten my load at work and also to give the other teacher more time with them. Had he only taken them at the end of Term 4 it would have been harder on the kids and harder come reporting time etc. While sticking with my class would have had its advantages, there are also advantages to this, which I have learnt about. No marking, programming & no interviews next term. I think I will be grateful for these further down the track. Anyway, I will be spending half of my week as part of the Learning Support Team, working on an ESL program. This should be good as the approach to this is changing next term and I think I’ll enjoy the role and the experience it shall bring. As for the rest of my week, it’s being worked on as well, so that I have set routines and a definite timetable. So that’s for next term. But first, come the holidays

5 more work days left of Term 2! And, given that most of Wednesday is industrial action &  half of Thursday is a World Cup activity based carnival day & Friday there is a Talent Quest, the week should be busy and fun and fly past. I am really REALLY looking forward to this break more than you could ever imagine. With the viruses I’ve had the 2nd half of this term & my work situation having changed, I just feel I need a really decent break. I won’t have to do any schoolwork either during it (a nice change!), so it should be a good one. No major plans for it yet, other than  a nice lunch on the 7th for a joint b’day celebration with Lena (get ready girl LOL!) & also Young Divas concert with her on the 15th. I’m sure things will pop up though!

On the baby front, I’m so glad that we found out that he is a he. It just makes things seem all the more real (especially for Steven, who I guess feels more detached from the whole thing still). It’s only been 4 days but being able to refer to him by name and daydream about his future is SO nice! I guess you can do that about a baby in general, but not in this way or to this extent. I’m so glad that we found out. Steven & I had a really good talk about things last night and I think for him it was even more special finding out, because for him it was something definite to be excited about and he needed that. Up until now he had been feeling that this pregnancy he/we hadn’t been very excited. The first pregnancy he remembers the positive test and those feelings he experienced, but I guess with this one because we were so anxious and still grieving for our loss, that we just didn’t ALLOW ourselves any excitement. It’s sad, but it’s true, when I look back on it. He asked me if I was excited about things and I said of course I was, but I guess I have not been very vocal about my feelings either, because we were so scared for so long and I just keep things to myself unless I’m asked about them. Which I guess probably does seem odd to an outsider, seeing as though this is our first child, but I guess it was more a defence mechaism and was for such a time, that you  just kinda get trapped in that mentality. I promise to start acting more excited

Anyway, I digress!

As for the weekend, my older brother and his family are coming over for a visit tomorrow afternoon to catch up and to see our bathroom as they haven’t been here in a while. No other real plans though. I just want to kick this throat/virus thing and feel ready for the last week of work.

Happy Weekend all!

Article in today’s SMH…

Apparently, Japan’s reason for lower birth rate is because ppl just aren’t having sex anymore. Interesting…
More sex.

That’s what one expert says is needed to solve Japan’s baby shortage.

“Japanese people simply aren’t having sex,” Dr Kunio Kitamura, the director of the Japan Family Planning Association, was quoted as saying by the Japan Times.

An association survey of 936 people between the ages of 16 and 49 showed 31 per cent had not had sex for more than a month “for no particular reason” – a condition known as “sexless”.

“As much as subsidies and welfare programs are important, sexlessness is also a critical issue in this problem.”

Japan’s fertility rate fell to an all-time low of 1.25 per woman last year. Demographers say a rate of 2.1 is needed to keep a population from declining.

Japan came last among 41 nations in a poll last year by condom manufacturer Durex, with lovers there having sex just 45 times a year compared with a global average of 103 times a year.

Kitamura said that while many men in workaholic Japan were simply too “stressed out” from their jobs to have enough energy for sex, many other couples simply do not have sex regularly.

In the association’s survey, 44 per cent of the people who said they weren’t having much sex felt that having a relationship with the opposite sex was “very tiresome” or “tiresome”.

Kitamura’s advice? Couples should talk to each other.

“Ultimately, it’s these interactions with the opposite sex that bring out the inevitable animal instinct in us – to reproduce,” he said.

I had to laugh at the ‘tiresome’ comment    Ah I think we all know how that can be! Hee!

I swear, this week is dragging! Monday was action-packed and emotional. The u/s etc was nothing but good! But Monday night I was such an emotional mess. I think the day was just so full-on, so I had those happy emotions. On top of that though, it really out of nowhere hit me that while happy about our little boy, I felt a touch of sadness/grief for the fact I will prob not have a daughter. That wasn’t the biggie that threw me for a loop though. I hadn’t thought aobut this in a while, but the timing of this u/s was not too far ahead of my due date for baby #1. Since I had a sudden, natural m/c, I never found out what that baby was and what went wrong I guess in lots of ways, I still haven’t had closure. I still feel very sad about that little one & while I’m beyond happy that I’ve got my little guy, it just all brought back all those really sad memories and feelings. So I went to bed on Monday night just full of happy and sad emotions and I bawled myself to sleep

On Mon I started getting a sore throat. Yest it was bearable but today it was pretty bad. I cancelled my hair appointment after work so that I could just come straight home and chill. I have always been prone to throat infections and I’m just so annoyed that someone gave this to me. It took me a week to get over the vomiting etc cos I was so worn out from that, now I’m fine , aside from the fact that I can barely swallow. It usually results in me needing antibiotics but I’ll see how it is tomorrow. Hopefully it will be on its way out (crossing fingers!). It’s only 2 more days til the weekend so I’ll just soldier on. I just wish that ppl would stop giving me viruses!!!!!!!

On a positive note, my supervisor had said nothing about my reports & I know they are due to go out to parents next week so I asked her today if she had looked over mine. I saw last year that they usually require lots of minor changes & revisions (albeit small ones). She said to me that mine were fine and didn’t need me to make any revisions. Yay! One thing I don’t have to think about.

On the baby front, I haven’t scanned in the 1 good pic we got on Monday yet. Steven tried his hand at making an iMovie last night and it worked but it was only his 1st attempt & it is too small and difficult to really see or read. I won’t give you the URL for it and we’ll see if we can improve on it before putting it out there for public viewing 

So all in all, a good week, just a very tiring, dragged out week that I am looking forward to seeing the back of, so I can then count down til the holidays and all that goes along with it!

Gee, go out for the afternoon and all hell breaks loose on here

I was gone for so long because the baby was stubborn and wouldn’t move to allow the sonographer certain views. most of it was done, but then we went and had a walk and got a drink, then came back and tried again. The 2nd time, it STILL hadn’t moved (needed views of spine and left hand bones from certain angles), so she said to just go shop and come back later in the afternoon and hope that it had moved! So we went and had lunch and bought a few baby things (we found out what it was before we left that 2nd time). Then got back there just after 4pm. Finally, it had moved positions, so she was able to get those last few images fairly quickly.

Anyway…

I know you are all checking in to find out what it is, so I won’t keep you in suspense.

Without a doubt, we have a boy All on the u/sound was perfect and we have photos and a DVD (will put the pics up later). It definitely has a cute button nose and Steven’s chin. Steven was a little disappointed when we found out it was a he, just because of family reasons more than anything. I would have loved a girl, but I knew it would be a boy because that is what Herods seem to produce.

So, despite him being VERY stubborn, he was all good.

Now we have the fun bit of finally deciding on his name. Of course, we agreed from the start on a girls’ name, but the boy one there will have to be some negotiating (on Steven’s part, of course ).

Anyway, gotta get going. Sorry to have kept you all waiting!

This morning we went and ordered all the big ticket items we need for baby: pram, cot, mattress,  drawers/change table & carseat.  It sorta felt weird doing it ‘early’ but with 13 weeks for the furniture (it’s made to order), we didn’t really do it too early at all. This place is great & due to the total cost of our package, we got a 20% discount off each item bought.  My Mum came with us & she said she was buying our carseat since she bought my niece/nephews’ seats. Most unexpected! There are a few other things we still need to add to our package but we can do that later. Namely, AngelCare monitor (has detector under the mattress) & a rocker/swing. Anything else we need is small cookies and we’ll start to buy bits and pieces each week. Bought the travel container today for the formula powder. My SIL has this one and it has 3 or 4 compartments where you can pre-measure the formula so when you are out it’s just a matter of mixing it and away you go. Nice and handy. So that’s about it as far as purchases go for the moment!

Tomorrow is the big day – ultrasound day! It’s weird. I hadn’t really thought about it or got excited until yesterday. I got a little anxious about if things were OK. But that’ just normal to feel a little that way, I’m sure! Now, it’s mainly just nervous excitement; looking forward to seeing baby on the screen, seeing that all is (hopefully!) well & we can finally find out the gender of baby Herod! My u/s is at 1pm, so I’ll work until lunchtime and then head home.

Still totally loving the bathroom!   We’ve started our own little traditions: I opt for a nice bubble bath accompanied by music and minimal downlit room on a Friday afternoon, as  a way of leaving the work week and related stress behind. Steven, on the other hand, has chosen to have a Sunday afternoon bubble bath. It’s so nice to have that room as a real sanctuary now, as it never was before.

Well, off to veg w/ hubby and the dogs, before I have an early night and then get up to watch our next soccer match against Brazil in the wee hours of the morn. I’m just hoping that we don’t get totally thrashed and even a draw or a 1 goal loss would be a huge achievment on Australia’s part. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

I’ve had a busy day and I’m glad it’s over. My role at work has changed somewhat and that all kicked off today. It was something I would have written a mini novella about last week, but because I got sick I wasn’t up to it and now to be honest, I can’t be bothered. Maybe I’ll fill you in some other time.

Anyway, the day went quite quick but I’m really worn out! This role was intended to be easier on me, but although it was OK at the time, I came home exhausted. I suppose the fact that I’ve had a constant headache since Sunday didn’t help that. Variety is good but I really needed a reease this afternoon after work, as I was feeling tired and teary (then again, what’s new huh?). I had to pick up some jeans that I had in being altered, so when I was in the shopping centre, I treated myself to an ice drink at Gloria Jean’s. I haven’t had one in SO long (beg of Jan, if memory serves), and I have to admit that once I saw the queue and the s-l-o-w service, I almost changed my mind. But I did really enjoy it.

My reports are now definitely finished (failing any minor grammatical changes, though my supervisor told me she snuck a peek last night & she was impressed it had no errors at first glance and was happy that “someone has finally listened to me”  ). I spent a bit of time upon getting home adding the final snippets of information: absences and reading levels. Drafts are due on Friday so I made it with time to spare. I am glad they are over with, though the workload this time around I found fine (thanks to the new web app. we adopted for reporting).  It’s just been more a case of work changes & me having been violently ill last week that made the task seem such a chore when I saw a deadline looming!

My eye is getting better. Very slowly, but very surely. It’s still very bloody looking, but it’s a lighter shade of red & it’s decreased in size a teeny bit. Who would’ve thought over a week later it is still VERY obvious! Seriously! If I had a dollar for every child or teacher that has asked me what happened, then I’d have earnt an extra week’s salary.

Tonight I think an early night is needed, to just try and get some extra sleep and try even harder at kicking this god-awful headache. Steven said gourmet pizza is on the menu tonight to save us cooking (since he’s coming in a bit later than usual) too. Even though I didn’t have a really late night last night, Steven was up watching the soccer so I guess I was semi-awake until he came to bed at – what was it – 12:30?

Tomorrow after work I have a manicure and a leg wax booked in so that will be nice to lie back and debrief with V and what I’ve been doing and feeling. I always leave there feeling like a weight has been lifted

And that is Tuesday in a nutshell!

Due to headaches, I didn’t get any reporting done yesterday. Speaking of headaches – did any other mothers who read here get them bad in the 2nd tri?  Mine aren’t even separate headaches, I get one ongoing headache that goes for over 24 hrs! It’s so not fun to function through those and going to bed with a headache and waking up the next morning with it, is Not. Fun! Grrrrr!

Anyway – even though today was supposed to be a restful day, I managed to finish all my Maths comments, which means I am DONE! All but proofreading to be done and I have til the end of the week to hand to supervisor, so that is one big thing off my to-do list

Also all but done, is the bathroom! We chose an off-white paint (white with the teeniest hint of brown in it) for the walls and the 2nd coat is being rolled as I type. It’s a barely-there colour but without the starkness of plain old white. We just didn’t want a bright solid colour, as to detract from the floor, so an off-white was the perfect choice. Let’s hope we’re happy with it once it’s on and dry.

Going to veg a while and once the paint is dry, have a bubble bath and then a fairly early night. I’m tired, so am glad it’s just a 4-day work week.

Lastly, go the Socceroos tonight! It’s our first World Cup finals bid in 32 years, so I hope all their hard work results in a win or two! Go Aussie Go!!!!!

Today, we went and checked out our favourite baby store. We had planned to get our pram & carseat there, and to get a sleigh cot online. We had been looking for a change table/drawers combo and hadn’t seen much or been impressed by any, really.

anyway today we were going to laybuy the pram and carseat, but we had a change of heart while we were there. We are definite on the Infinity pram, no change there. I love it.

However, we did find a combo drawers/change table that has a wardrobe attached as well. The baby’s room is the only of our bedrooms that doesn’t have built-in wardrobes & we were wanting something with a wardrobe attachment, but this is the only one we have found and honestly it is so sturdy and lovely and will last for years with the amt of drawer space, and enough hanging space (with adjustable height as their clothes get longer) to last well into when a change of bedroom furniture is needed.

Since we loved that, we decided to look closely at the cot. I have always wanted a sleigh cos I like the shape. But the store ones are excessively expensive & offer nothing more than a different shape compared to others we’ve looked at. And buying online I’m just a little unsure of the quality of the cot. Truth be known, I seem to like any of the cots that are not run of the mill, plain, rectangular pine ones. All the ones I seem to pick out as a nice one are either curvy or have interesting lines. The matching cot is not curvy but is has really tall head and foot and is angular and Euro and lovely! Since this store will offer us 20% discount off a package with the amt we’re looking at spending all up, we’ve decided that even though this cot is more $ than the online sleigh, it’s still a lot cheaper than the store sleighs, and it will all match. And it also converts to toddler bed, for use until 4 yrs of age. So that’s what we’re going to do. Will head back there prob next weekend & laybuy the package, esp since wanting the furniture in white can take around 13 weeks.

Anyway, here are some piccies…

Cot (not sure the pic does it justice actually!).

And drawers/robe, with the change box on top…