Dell are amazing!
Well, they didn’t come and pick it up.
They came and fixed it, despite the fact my warrenty didn’t have that feature.
It was a faulty video card apparently, and now my screen is actually clearer!
He also found a fault with the drive, so a new drive will also hopefully be posted out to me.
So, from call to resolution, 10 working hours, their only fault was that their phone support number wasn’t published, otherwise it could even have been fixed on monday.
So my sort lived experience with linux on my backup laptop is over before it really began. I’ll post my brief thoughts another time.